i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
