Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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