i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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