I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
