sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
