Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
