Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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