Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
