that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
