I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize