What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
