We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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