exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
