maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
