I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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