...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
