At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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