I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
