No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
