fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
