My friends, they love my intelligence
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Randomize
