Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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