So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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