There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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