I'm gonna have a badass scar
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
The power of my boobs compel you
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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