I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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