Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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