Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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