if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
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