Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
