when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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