I'm drive I can fine osifer
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
