weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
