Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
