I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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