I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
no you cant smoke seaweed
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
