someone threw a dead crab at me
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
you made out with another girl for some wings
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
