he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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