Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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