I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
