dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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