I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
