It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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