Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
