i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
We need to rekindle our bromance
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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