whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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