she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
