He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
