Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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