i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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