I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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