somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
