Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
if i died would you start the facebook group?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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