If that was your dad, he is hot
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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