Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
