Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize