there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
