Where is the hickey?
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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