After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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