Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
