If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
