Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
